Having kids that is! It’s also like being pecked to death by chickens!

Especially teenagers…well actually…I am very lucky as my teen is, on the whole, responsible, intelligent, good company and extremely funny. When he’s on a roll he has me doubled up with laughter.

He can also be a great big pain in the behind!

From 8:30 am until 4:30pm Mon-Fri our house is a place of tranquility. Somewhere I can get on with my work in peace.

At 4:30pm teen arrives home and it all kicks off.

I have a theory that because he can watch the TV, update Facebook, listen to his i-pod and do his work ALL at the same time, he thinks I can too!

He comes home and talks at me regardless of whether I’m working, reading, typing or pretending to be asleep. And he talks in my face….and fast!

He also likes to be in control and he likes things a certain way, you could even go so far as to say that he has slight OCD. He was the first born after all and had it all his own way for almost six years. For him, having a nine year old brother is an inconvinience and always has been.

Last night, teen asked if he could make himself a sandwich. I agreed but said he had to make his brother one too, left them to it and joined OH in the office to choose some wedding music.

The office is adjacent to the kitchen and through the open door I could see and more significantly, hear the bickering start.

Toddler then took it upon himself to wander into the office and settled himself on my knee, all the while the bickering was getting louder and more pointless and was starting to encroach on what we were doing.

I could feel my stomach knotting, and the anxiety bubbled in my throat as their voices rose to a crescendo…..and then I exploded!

I stood up and shouted as loud as I could through the open door using old classics such as ‘You drive me insane’ and ‘I’ll give you something to shout about’.

I rarely shout like that and their faces were a picture. As they stood their opened mouthed I ordered middle son into the lounge and told teen to make the sandwich WITHOUT creating world war III.

It was only then that I remembered toddler had been sitting on my knee when I leapt to my feet in a rage! Where was he?

I looked down to my side and saw I was holding him against my left hip in a vice like grip just under his armpits. His arms were straight up in the air and his feet were dangling a few inches from the floor. No mean feat I can tell you as he’s not small for his age!  He looked up at me wide eyed as if to say ‘Who are you crazy lady and what have you done with my Mummy?’

I plonked myself back down on the chair, dragged toddler onto my knee and looked at OH. We tried to keep straight faces for as long as possible but it was no good. We both burst out laughing, and laughed and laughed until our sides ached and tears were rolling down our cheeks.

Toddler laughed too…but he didn’t know why?

Last night in bed, the lights off and OH snoring next to me, I thought back to the incident and burst out laughing again!

I guess you really had to be there!